Sharknado – No Really

I can’t even make fun of this title, so I’ll make fun of the movie.

We find a former surfer, who is now bar owner, in California pending the first land fall of a west coast hurricane in known memory. Little does the civilization know is that the storm is the least of their worries. This storm has swept from the sea and made sky born one of the deadliest creatures ever known – sharks! They will fall from the skies and swim in the streets wreaking havoc and death to all.

I swear I’m not making this up. I had heard this movie was bad but that really doesn’t do it justice. Having seen several SyFy movies, I expected poor production and lousy plot but this movie sets a new low.  Calling the acting bad would be an understatement. I won’t brag but I think I did better in my sixth grade class play. Special effects? They we’re e-special-ly bad. Sure it is a sci-fi movie but clearly they used the cheapest CGI rendering available. The funniest part was that you could basically tell that a lot of the flood footage was from news reels – that was the most realistic part of the movie.

Ever put a jig-saw puzzle together by forcing or smashing the pieces together? That is what this movie looked like. One second the skies are gray and the waters are torrent, in the next frame the sky is blue and the water is calm. Ever look in your rear view mirror while on a major highway or freeway only to see flood waters and sharks??? I don’t know about your rear view mirror but mine doesn’t see all that far. At least not enough for me to see something that I can get out of the vehicle, run half way down a highway on ramp, bang on car windows, pull people from their cars, and run back to my car before what I saw in my mirror reaches me. No really, this is in the movie. This is by no means something I’ve concocted. The movie doesn’t even have tornadoes in it as the name implies. It has a hurricane and waterspouts.  Sure it’s a technicality that a tornado is different from a waterspout but shouldn’t somebody fact check this? Maybe Sharkspout just didn’t have the same ring to it.

If you want a good laugh watch this movie. It is available on Netflix and I’m sure the SyFy channel has it on its rotation. I can’t imagine why, other than as a gag, but you can buy the Blu-ray from Amazon for $17. This movie gave me a lot of laughs and even though it was terrible I was happy I watched it. Mama’s not sure if she should yell at me since I actually did enjoy this movie.