Lara Croft: Boob Raider

Lara Croft: Tomb RaiderWho doesn’t love a movie that has everything? Robots, lost treasure, guns, romance, a sexy lady, a James Bond, supernatural beings, and its based on a video game.

For those unfamiliar with Lara Croft here is the quick version. She became popular as a video game character essentially because a large amount of perverts got their kicks from playing games that feature a female treasure seeker with overly large breasts and made a lot of sexually implying grunts as she battled along her adventures.

Of course with that kind of following Hollywood was eager cash in on this popularity and make some money. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider stars Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft and you follow her on her latest treasure-seeking adventure. She is sent on a journey to find the Triangle of Light by a dream and clues left behind by her late father. Along the way she must fight her enemies and stop them from finding the Triangle of Light and using its power.

Since this is a movie based on a video game be prepared for some pretty outlandish if not outright silly story and action moments. The gun battles try to capture the game play of the video game. Previous attempts to capture the look and feel of video games have not fared well and this movie does little better. On the plus side, at least this movie had decent production value and did not look terrible doing it. Some of the attempts to put the dialogue and humor of the game into the movie seem forced and out-of-place. Remember that any movie based on a game is going to fall short of pulling off what the video game is capable of. It’s the same problems of scale, detail, and time that renders most movies adaptations of books lacking when compared to the original manuscripts.

Even though it was just a play for money, they did try to make a movie that was somewhat true to the spirit of the original game. So much so to the point that Angelina Jolie’s breasts were “augmented” to be closer in size to the video game character’s. There were even moments when it seemed that the movie’s scenes attempted to be like the cinematic sequences of a game. Where Hollywood failed was in their lame attempt to have a reunion of Jolie and her father Jon Voight by casting him as her father in the movie. If anyone expected years of animosity to disappear on a movie set then they were just foolish.

This movies does stand as one of the better movies made based on a video game. I won’t name the names of ones that were worse, particularly any involving plumbers. Netflix subscribers can watch this film at their leisure. Those interested in having this pleasure to have and hold can find it at Amazon with the sequel for additional viewing pleasure. Take the time and watch this movie for a spirited little adventure and to just enjoy a female version of Indiana Jones.


One thought on “Lara Croft: Boob Raider

  1. Pingback: Reviewer discretion | Lara Croft: Cradle of Jolie

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